We often talk about the visible aspects of neurodivergence like stimming, sensory needs and executive function differences. We talk about burnout, about masking, about overwhelm. And rightly so.
But what often goes unnoticed is the constant, exhausting demand to translate. To be legible in a world that doesn’t speak your language.
Every day, in a hundred little ways, you are translating.
The demand to be digestible starts young. You were forced to make eye contact because it made adults more comfortable. You learned to soften your tone, speak less directly, rehearse social niceties, suppress your movements and tone down your enthusiasm, because your authentic expression wasn’t considered polite, relatable or “normal.”
As time passes, you learn quickly that if people can’t understand you on their terms, they won’t try to connect with you. You’ll be corrected, ignored or pathologised. Over and over again. So you learn to pre-empt that rejection. You learn to translate. Constantly.
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Translating your needs into something palatable or recognisable to people who think in different frameworks..
Translating your expressions into body language or tone deemed appropriate and socially acceptable..
Translating your time and energy limits into productivity measures others will respect..
This bilingualism is not by choice. It’s constant, unpaid and invisible labour: the demand to translate yourself to be legible to others.
This constant translation means:
You’re intercepting your own first language before it can be spoken or acted on.
You’re anticipating the default settings of others before you even express a thought.
You’re editing in real-time to avoid judgement or misunderstanding.
Like multilingual people flipping between languages in different contexts, you are expected to navigate two systems:
The internal language of your neurodivergent self: direct, sensory-based, non-linear, emotionally vivid.
..and
The external expectations of a neurotypical society: indirect, metaphorical, time-bound, filtered through performance.
Most people don’t realise what it takes for neurodivergent people to make themselves understood. The cost is in effort, identity censorship, cumulative micro-disconnections and long-term exhaustion from being both the messenger and the interpreter, constantly.
My wish for every neurodivergent person is this: when and where it’s safe to do so, reclaim your language.
Speak plainly. Move freely. Feel deeply. Show up without the translator. You are not less for being understood differently. You are more for surviving this long without a shared dictionary.
You’ve always spoken a beautiful, complex, fully-formed language.
And maybe the real liberation is in knowing you never needed permission to speak in the first place.
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