The Escalation Curve
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Why is escalation a curve and not a cliff?
In many classrooms, educational staff are taught to respond to behaviour at its peak when it’s loud, visible or disruptive. But by that point, a child isn’t choosing their behaviour. They’re surviving it.
Whether it looks like yelling, bolting, shutting down or lashing out, what we’re seeing is nervous system overload. The thinking brain has stepped back. The survival brain has stepped in.
At that moment, it's no longer a learning opportunity. It has become a safety moment.
That’s why the classroom focus must shift. Not to control the crisis, but to understand the curve that led there and respond proactively, respectfully and relationally.
Emotional escalation isn’t sudden. It builds up, like climbing up a mountain.
And if we attune to that climb and respect it we can step in before the children slip into dysregulation.
Neurodivergent children don’t escalate out of opposition or defiance. They escalate because their nervous systems are signalling distress and the earlier we listen, the more trust we preserve.
When we only act at the peak, we’re reacting to damage. By contrast, when we act early, we’re protecting connection.
So what does respecting the climb mean and what does that look like?
Noticing early cues of distress, even when they’re quiet.
Responding with co-regulation, not confrontation.
Remembering that behaviour is a signal, not a strategy.
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Here’s what escalation can look like, in five stages, and how we can support at each point:
1. Baseline - this is when the children are regulated.
This is the relationship-building zone and connection is key here.
Use this time to co-create routines, accommodations and safety signals.
This is when proactive strategies have the most power.
2. Trigger - the early stress signals.
These are missed because they are often quiet.
The children may become withdrawn, tense or hyper-focused.
This is the moment for gentle check-ins, lowered demands and flexible thinking.
Prevention lives here.
3. Escalation - this is when distress is rising.
Energy is high. Logic is low.
You may see refusal, rapid speech, pacing or irritability.
Stay calm, reduce verbal input and offer calming tools without pressure.
Avoid reasoning through it. This is not a moment for lessons.
4. Crisis - the flight, fight, freeze or fawn responses become prevalent.
The body takes over and safety becomes the main focus at this stage.
The children may attempt to escape, lash out or collapse.
Stay grounded, reduce stimuli and stay calm.
5. Recovery
The children are still processing the climb at this point because their system is still re-calibrating.
Offer low-demand time, movement and comfort.
This is not the time for reflection or conversation. It’s a time for repair, co-regulation and relational safety.
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What happens when we don’t respect the climb?
Children escalate to be heard because the responses they receive at the bubbling stage, tell them that their needs will only be acknowledged or met when crisis is reached.
Ignored early cues lead to a learned pattern and over time, trust disappears, shame builds and the cycle repeats louder each time.
But what happens when we do?
We create an environment where children don’t have to choose between expressing distress and being safe - this is where learning begins again and how relational safety is built. The point is to validate the small signs before escalation.
The key thing to remember is that every escalation is a story the nervous system is trying to tell.
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